Music Room full yet?
Can I check it out?
Er… Sure [Are you lint free? Dandruff free? Dusted? Scrubbed? Fully prepped?]
New shelves! Neat.
All the better to file you in, my dears.
Alphabetical order, of course.
[covert sigh] A, top left. Z round there, low. No system, no find it.
Compilations? You, know, Various Artists.
More than necessary, for sure. At the end, with Western Art music.
And Romantic, and 20th Century, and Early Music…
The oldest ones.
[huh?] Even older than us.
Err… Any other sections?
Jazz. Seems to be a separate mood. Or need.
[Pause for browsing]
You look focussed.
Tull. Jethro Tull. I used to like him a lot but you don’t seem to have any.
A dozen or so. Under J.
Huh? Do you file Dylan under Bob? Or T for The Beatles! Ha Ha Ha. Your ‘John’ section must be long!
Jethro Tull is a band name, not an individual artist.
Sounds like a person to me.
Indeed, he was an eighteenth century agriculturalist. Perfected the horse-drawn seed drill.
I have some CDs by the Seed Drills if you’re interested. Under ‘D’. [Pause for laughter. Silence]
[More browsing. ‘T’ section]
Ha! You have Taj Mahal under ‘T’ not ‘M’.
[Audible sigh] Because it’s a building not a person?
More-or-less. It’s a made-up name, like having a band name for an individual; a popular 21st Century ploy, I believe.
You have all these rules written down, I suppose. Got to be consistent! [Locating ‘M’ section] Muddy Waters…
Ah. [Beat] Under ‘W’.
But you said–
I know. [Surrenders] Yer got me. Didn’t think it through when I got the first Muddy Waters album in the 70s and never changed the location.
The exception that makes the rule, eh?
All the records have plastic covers.
To stop them breeding I guess.
[Animated] Oh I wouldn’t mind if they bred. Might get some interesting offspring from disparate neighbours.
Here—Pete Townshend adjoins Tortoise. Could germinate a post-rock album with bitter literate vocals and windmill guitar.
Or this. [Levering out LPs] Gentle Giant and Bobbie Gentry give birth to contrapuntal progressive country ballads…
[Spins] …The Seekers snog the Sex Pistols! Snotty harmony-driven MOR.
[Cackles] Steely Dan inseminate Steeleye Span yielding highbrow jazz inflected English folk…
[Maniacal] Jeff Wayne jumps Weather Report begetting grandiose fusion concept-album…
Er, I’ll just, um, top up my drink.
[More to come. Be afraid.]